There are some things I believe in and other things that I do not. I try not to believe in some things because I don't want them to be true. I used to think that writer's block was a myth because any time I'd stop writing, there would be a good reason. Now, I admit that I have been experiencing writer's block, but I think I have good reason.
I like to keep to myself much of the time, talking with my friends, meeting people, and going out every once in a while. In Florence, I don't generally walk around telling everyone that I meet that I have a blog. Although, sometimes my mouth gets ahead of me and words fly out before I can stop them.
I told a person at the mercato that I have a blog. A week or so went by and I kept hoping that he had forgotten about it. I explained that I wrote about my life in Florence and sometimes mentioned the mercato since I enjoy going so often. I didn't give many details in the hopes to downplay my blog even more.
On Wednesday, the same person asked me for my URL. At first, I said that I didn't want to give it to him and then feeling a twinge of guilt, I decided it wouldn't be so bad. Besides, how much English does he know?
The problem was that with each passing day when I was about to write, fear would settle into my fingers and I couldn't type. What if he read what I wrote about him and judge me or worse criticize me and then say something to my face? Should I remove that one entry for a short time? I started feeling a bit paranoid as if I had said something offensive about him and yet I know that I didn't. What was a lapse in judgment on my behalf certainly has no bearing on his character or his intentions.
I am a writer and I write what I feel. Today, I have decided to write about what's been on my mind for the past few days in the hopes of diminishing it. Sometimes, by just writing out my fears, they sometimes seem insignificant and then will just disappear.
At the end of the day, I can always change vendors, right?
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