The closing of a chapter

Dave and I have decided to go our separate ways. He left for the US this morning, and I will be staying in Florence. The apartment now seems quite empty without him here, but I have to get used to his absence and learn to live alone again. In this way, I hope to find my happiness, which seems to be hiding behind a few dark clouds, once again.

Things have not always been easy for the both of us here. We didn't have the same desire to live and stay here in Florence. I guess if I really admitted it, I'd say that I practically dragged him here. He wanted to live here with me for a few years and then go back, but once I arrived here, I realized that I couldn't go back to the US. I thought I could live here for a couple of years, get it out of my system, and move back, but as they months went by, I feel now that I'm unable to.

After almost six years of marriage, I hope we will remain good friends. We respect each other, have both learned a lot from each other, and have matured in many, many ways. And maybe that's what marriage is. The coming together of two people to be transformed. If a marriage lasts a few months or even a few years, it shouldn't matter. What matters is that in the end you are one step closer to living your life fully as your true self.

I had believed, of course, that I'd be married forever, have children, and create a family, but things don't always work out the way I plan them. I've always been content in the end with what fate throws my way, but during the moments of upheaval, I shake my fists at the sky.

And, with his departure, comes one more bomb that drops at my feet. My mother's passing has resurfaced once again. I realized the other day that my being alone right now will be the first time since she passed away. So, now I'm sure I will face yet another level of grief that I had postponed all these years.

So with one chapter closing, another one must begin. And who knows what the new chapter will include...

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