Old city, new life

My new life in my old city has proven to be quite interesting. As luck would have it, I met one girl a few weeks prior and we have become great friends. Add to that, a few women who read my blog have come to Florence for a visit and want to meet up with me. So I have been busy meeting new people, confiding in them, and receiving a lot of wisdom, joy, and support in exchange.

I have been feeling quite alone in the past few months; life-altering changes seem to do that to me. I withdraw and try to deal with what's going on inside to make some sense of it all. Talking about things sometimes doesn't help me; it only confuses me.

I have been walking around the streets of Florence quite a bit, meeting people to have lunch, aperitivi, or dinner with different friends, and it has been great for me. Each person has been supportive and understanding of my current situation.

It has been good for me to open up to so many people, even with my old friends. A lot has gone on in my life that I couldn't share with others because I felt I wasn't ready to do so. I also felt that I'd be judged for what I was thinking, feeling, and contemplating. I write a lot of my thoughts out and even when I read them a few days later, I judge them at times.

I'm enjoying my days even though they are filled with emotional uncertainty. At some moments, I'm positive and happy and other moments, I feel a deep sadness that pulls me down and barely gives me a chance to breathe. But, through the tears that I shed, I feel this new life forming inside of me that is preparing to burst out of me, and I'm truly looking forward to it.

And so as I get acquainted with myself, my friends, and my city, I feel that the sun will soon shine brightly on me. A few clouds have already disappeared, and hopefully the sky will be clear once more.

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